Life...a beautiful choice.

I was unable to be honest and open about my thoughts and feelings through the duration my entire trip. I started Magical Wonderfulness to be able to share the scenery with everyone that was excited for my trip west. The only person I was able to be comfortable enough with to be open and honest with is the only person I am completely incapable of getting in touch with ever again. By sharing the beautiful scenery and the story that went along with the pictures I felt I could open up at least a little. The blog was a way to vent some of my feelings and share that I was alive and alright. I have lost the ability to talk to some of my closest friends, I have been discouraged, threatened, arrested, and been talked to like I am the most terrible person alive from this. I did not intend to worry, anger, sadden, manipulate, or guilt anyone, and if I did this was not my intention.


I never wanted my life to come to this. At a point when I could have changed, I chose to ignore my problems. My life was no longer just about myself, and choosing not to accept that I had a problem hurt the person that I love. I compounded the problem and have to accept responsibility for my actions. My reason for leaving was quite clear. My trip itself has opened my eyes for better and for worse and the information I have learned has made my decision much simpler. I had a moment of peace when accepting the decision of the girl I love to no longer be in contact, and that lapse has made me lose all meaning. I am relinquishing contact with everyone I have ever had known in my life. My reliance on other people has come to the point that I can no longer function and the torment I put myself through can not be dealt with as long as I have constant reminders of what I have lost. I miss Geode too much, I miss Dinosaur too much, I miss Ani too much. I decided to end my trip in Yosemite National Park, as this is the only place I had intended to head to in the first place. My motivation to keep in touch and let others experience my journey through Magical Wonderfulness kept me from my goal for a while longer but the journey is over. Magical Wonderfulness was about my trip and is no longer necessary as my trip is over. To the best of my abilities I never intend to come back, and if by chance I do, I apologize. I wish you all the best in your endeavors and hope you have the most meaningful life.